


What happens at the bar ... might be because the universe wants to have fun

by holisticgaymess (ThisSimp1eFee1ing), thankfullynotaredshirt (ThisSimp1eFee1ing)



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: CURRENTLY REWRITTING THIS FIC AS I AM NOT HAPPY WITH IT, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-03 02:30:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14558904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisSimp1eFee1ing/pseuds/holisticgaymess, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisSimp1eFee1ing/pseuds/thankfullynotaredshirt
Summary: "Find me the twinkiest boy." Todd asks with a smirk on his lips, his back leaning against the bar."That's easy, the one with the blue shirt and tie over there." Amanda gestures with her bottle."Now that's proper cute." He nods in approval, watching him dance on his own, helping himself to the universe's probably gayest drink: a cosmopolitan.





	What happens at the bar ... might be because the universe wants to have fun

**Author's Note:**

> today's my birthday so you get a fic because I have no life.

Todd downs his drink in one go. "Do you link the one in the pink shirt?" Amanda asks, pointing lifting her glass to the man's general direction. He was sort of cute but not really something that he'd like on the long term. The music was way too loud for his taste, most certainly because he wasn't that used to gay bars anymore but at least his sister was there for him and her presence there was a start.  
"Find me the twinkiest boy." Todd asks with a smirk on his lips, his back leaning against the bar.  
"That's easy, the one with the blue shirt and tie over there." She gestures with her bottle.  
"Now that's proper cute." He nods in approval, watching him dance on his own, helping himself to the universe's probably gayest drink: a cosmopolitan.  
"Get up." She asks, smirking at the desperate look on her brother's face.  
"What why?" But he does so anyways.  
"You're going to talk to him." She explains, guiding Todd to the man and before he had any chances of retreating to his safe place Amanda had already succeeded on capturing the man's attention.  
"Hello, I'm Amanda what's your name?"  
"Hiiii! I am Dirk Gently, it is lovely to meet you!" Todd is surprised to hear him talk so cheerfully and with an intone of British accent on his speech.  
"So Dirk, this is Todd, my older brother." She slaps his brother on the upper back for emphasis. "And he finds you really cute. I'll give you some time, aright?" And she left as quickly as she had approached Dirk.  
"Hey!" He says, trying to break the ice, looking down at his drink.  
"Hello Todd!" Dirk smile brightly, he leaves his empty glass on the bar counter and then asks "Shall we dance?"  
"Alright!" Dirk takes his hands and walks him to the dance floor, he knows the point of this whole 'dancing' thing, so he kill the distance between them – and doesn't Dirk just happen to smell wonderfully? His hands are loosely wrapped around Todd's waist as he guides them both to sway to rhythm of Beyoncé.  
"Tell me about yourself." Dirk yells over the music."  
"I play the guitar, used to be in a band called the Mexican Funeral but you probably never heard of them." - He feels Dirk's hands roaming on his sides and descending to his hips.  
"No, sorry Todd but I don't think I do. But I haven't been here for long." Dirk explains. "I'm from England."  
"Yeah, I noticed that sweet way of talking of yours." Todd says, leaning onto Dirk's space dangerously – who has a smug smirk on his lips before he asks:  
"Would you like to go back to my flat?" He asks.  
"What for?" Todd asks. "You're supposed to ask that with your tongue down my throat." He explains, slowly spreading kisses along Dirk's jawline.  
"I forgot." Dirk explains, fully smitten at Todd's attention this before stilling his face with his hands and kissing his lips, which immediately parted and in no time Dirk was exploring his mouth.  
"So what about now?"  
"Now what?" He asks with a smirk, loving Dirk's post-kiss face and to tease this man.  
"Will you go with me?" He seems to be blushing and very infatuated with the kiss they had just shared.  
"Hmmm alright." Todd says, pulling Dirk by his hand. "Let's just go say goodnight to Amanda, okay?"  
"Of course! I can see her, she's at the bar with Martin." He says, licking his lips as they walked over. This Martin that Dirk apparently knew was this bleached haired, strong bearded dude and Amanda seemed to be well entertained with the make out session they shared so Todd didn't interfere that much and just yelled "Amanda, I'll be staying at Dirk's." to which she replied with a thumb sticking out as if to say 'that's my boy!'  
"Okay let's go," Todd says tangling their fingers together.  
They kissed their way into the flat which was conveniently situated just down the street. Dirk worked the door open as Todd lavished his pulse point and once they are in, Todd – who cannot believe his own strength and also how light Dirk is – pushes him inside and shoves him against the nearest wall, pressing his body against Dirk's and feeling the man's enthusiasm as their crotches touch.  
"Todd. He moans, moving both his hands to cup Todd's face with. "My bedroom is just down the corridor."  
He nods and undoes the first couple of buttons at the bottom of the shirt, then grabs a hold of the tie and pulls at it, forcing Dirk to lean down and to be within kissing range again, then finally unlacing it between messy, sloppy kisses, he unbuttons the final half. Grunting when he realised that he still has a undershirt beneath.  
"So many layers…" Todd comments, as the thin white shirt by its hem, pleased to find that there was skin under it, very pale skin.  
Dirk who until then was very still and at Todd's mercy, helps Todd of his sleeveless shirt and drags him along the corridor and onto the room, they stopped a few times along their way, for Dirk to toe off his shoes and Todd to unlace his sneakers and roll off his sock; for Dirk to throw away his peach coloured trousers and Todd his ripped jeans. This causing both of them to be standing by Dirk's bed with nothing else on other than their underwear, a trail of discarded clothes behind them.  
"You're a top right?" Dirk asks, throwing his white-grey-ish briefs to the side, then laying onto the mattress, awaiting for Todd to join his side.  
He nods and Dirk beams away like a child on a sweetshop "I know you'd say that!"  
"What why? Does it show that much?" He lifts one eyebrow.  
"No, I just have a magic finger that guesses." Dirk teases, flopping his head back on the pillow, his hands helping Todd to crawl on top of him. Thankfully he wasn't that much shorter than him so logistically that wouldn't work out that badly "You're completely mad!"  
"I've been told so, yes." He acknowledges with a nod, spreading his legs and hooking them around Todd's back. "Todd, baby fuck me please."  
"Okay and lube? And I'll help you stretch." The American one asks, smirking at his new nickname – Dirk was definitely tipsy.  
He hops off and into the adjoining bathroom, returning in no time with two dripping handfulls of liquid, smearing them on Todd's now ready cock with a condom rolled on and the other hand smears o Todd's hands, but mostly on his fingers.  
"That's slightly impractical." Todd mocks as he slips one finger into Dirk' behind.  
"Well it is a slightly impractically big bottle." Dirk replies, biting his lip in pleasure. "Shit"  
Todd smirks and adds a second one since Dirk's wasn't showing that much resistance. He slips a third one, curling his fingers and stretching them just for a good measure and then Dirk was looking like he was about to cum – and that just could not happen, yet – and so Todd slips his finger out of this Englishman watching as he panted and then whimpered at the lost.  
Once Todd slid his cock in and inched back and forth to give the opportunity for Dirk to get adjusted to the feeling, he sets up a concise pace. Aiming for his prostate with each thrust after having found it – and Dirk did make it easy since his whole face would light up.  
Dirk stretched his arms up and reached for a kiss on his lips, Todd ceased this opportunity to fist a hand into this man's almost ginger hair and keep him there, whimpering against his lips, one hand Dirk's dick the other stroking the hair on the back of his head. And then he comes with a louder whimper, stifled by Todd's lips which made it sound like a dreamy exhale, his inner muscles clenching around Todd and practically milking the orgasm out of him.  
He collapses in defeat by the other man's side, who squirm away to the bathroom with Todd's condom and in the other tissues for them to wipe the sweat and cum away. And then they're back to lying naked, sticky and smelling like sex on the bed, in bliss and in the warmth of each other. His waist has Dirk's arm slung over and his arm goes around Dirk's shoulder.  
"You're going to stay aren't you?" Dirk asks, his nose rubbing cutely against Todd's cheek.  
"Well, unless you don't want me to." He says backing away slightly – was it possible that he hadn't liked the sex?  
"No! Stupid Dirk! That's not what I meant!" He admonishes himself as he returns to snuggling. "I want you to stay the night… with me. If it is not too much to ask. Which is perfectly alright, if you have other beds to attend to-"  
Todd smiles and hushes Dirk with a kiss. "I can stay but I have to leave early in the morning for work, alright?"  
"Alright," Dirk smiles and returns to his initial position and they fall asleep soon after, tired from all that extraneous activity.  
Todd left at 5:30 in the morning, saying goodbye to the Englishman with some heated kiss – kisses that Dirk barely remember since he passed out back into sleep from exhaustion.

At midday Dirk scrambles awake on the blankets, he was alone and his phone was ringing. A man called Patrick Spring had a case for him, little did he know that later that day he would be jumping through Todd Brotzman's flat window, the same Todd that he had rather enjoyed to spend the night with. Could it be that the universe was finally rewarding him?


End file.
